The Witch's Train

Last month, I spent a week on a vacation in a place called La Manga, in Spain.

If you aren't familiar with La Manga, imagine a super long and narrow strip of land with water on both sides. On one side, you have the Mediterranean Sea. On the other side, you have a smaller sea called Mar Menor.

On this skinny land, there's just 1 road. 1 road that goes straight down the middle, from the bottom all the way to the top. And that's the only road on the whole strip!

Essentially, it's a 21-km long dead-end.

Our holiday home was almost at the very top of this strip of land. So, every time we wanted to explore or get ice cream, we had to drive on this road.

In the middle of La Manga, there was a tiny amusement park.

Don't let your imagination run wild, picturing Disneyland. It was one of those portable amusement parks where each ride fits into a truck. The kind that pops up in an empty parking lot for a weekend and then disappears just as quickly.

Old, small, worn out... and rather shabby.

The main attraction was an inflatable castle, featuring a huge Super Mario head that inevitably caught my son's attention.

I hate going to those places, but my son loves them. The catch is that every time we went out, we inevitably passed by that bl**dy park.

And every time we approached Super Mario's huge head, I'd attempt to drive faster or divert my son's attention to whatever distraction was on the opposite side of the road.

Obviously, to no avail.

We ended up visiting the amusement park.

After the initial excitement of jumping around Super Mario’s head was over, my son found another ride that got his attention.

The witch's train.

Ahh, the witch's train…

What an extraordinary optimization of limited resources!

The ride consisted of a small circular track, an old train with 4 wagons, and a structure covering half the track. Inside the structure, there were 2 human-sized hanging horror puppets that probably were sourced from the nearest Chinese bazaar, illuminated by a few neon lights pretending to simulate a spooky cave.

And then there was the witch.

I have no idea why the ride was named after the witch, in the first place.

Because it wasn't a witch. It was a man in jeans and a stripy colorful T-shirt wearing a smoking wolf mask. He wielded a straw broom he used to tap at the heads of both kids and parents.

The train would ride in circles, while the "witch" scared the kids. He employed every trick imaginable, from vanishing only to reappear a few seconds later spraying kids with a water gun, to wielding a big hammer toy that looked scary even to me.

All kids, my son included, were totally excited trying to anticipate where the next scare would come from.

After the first ride, my son was eager to ride it again. And after the second, and the following day, and the last day…

It didn't matter that the attraction was simpler than pie.

Because the passion that guy put into his role was amazing. The train and everything else were just part of the scenery. The witch was the true attraction.

He was the star of the show!

Where am I heading with this?

Towards financial models, obviously.

You’re probably aware of all the hype around the latest developments in Excel, from its integration with Python to dynamic arrays and Lambda functions.

Excel is becoming a monster, supercharged with a plethora of features and functionalities. It's become so loaded that even I have started feeling overwhelmed. I don't want to think how an average Excel user might feel these days.

However, to build a good financial model, you don't need all those bells and whistles.

All you need is plain Excel and a good understanding of the business you're modelling.

Let's circle back to the witch's train.

The attraction consisted of few simple resources leveraged by a guy passionate enough who knew what he was doing.

The same applies to financial models.

Hey, just as I recognize that not everyone is inclined to wear a mask, wield a broom, and chase excited kids, the same goes for financial models.

If you're not inclined to invest passion into your model, let me be your train's witch.

Financial modelling services.

P.S. If you want to know more about La Manga, old good Wikipedia is the place to start looking.

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